








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 229 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 31 matches | ||
| Premier | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




11 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1750 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,454 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1187 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1420 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1597 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1250 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $446,358 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 56 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Space dude51 | 78% | 23 |
| #2 | trav | 70% | 10 |
| #3 | gunny | 63% | 59 |
| #4 | chris | 62% | 29 |
| #5 | yung d4nny- | 57% | 104 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | stellar | 49% | 41 |
| #7 | Longbow | 47% | 97 |
| #8 | skill free player | 45% | 11 |
| #9 | greg | 38% | 48 |
| #10 | T. Howard's Grand Unified Theory | 37% | 43 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | greg | 8 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | yung d4nny- | 7 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | Longbow | 5 | 0.0025 |
| #4 | gunny | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | stellar | 3 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yung d4nny- | 291 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #2 | Longbow | 200 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #3 | gunny | 165 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #4 | stellar | 120 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #5 | greg | 99 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | yung d4nny- | +3.61 | 83 | 72 |
| #2 | gunny | +1.55 | 76 | 68 |
| #3 | iltemnc | +1.00 | 76 | 67 |
| #4 | skill free player | +0.99 | 73 | 73 |
| #5 | trav | +0.93 | 83 | 60 |





