








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 52 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 7 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
465 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,696 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 280 | 17% |
| Smokes | 390 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 562 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 464 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $158,684 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 55 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | midget | 50% | 8 |
| #2 | johnybee | 50% | 32 |
| #3 | Serioža | 44% | 18 |
| #4 | jamanlele | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | Pepe | 40% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | jamanlele | 44% | 25 |
| #5 | Pepe | 40% | 10 |
| #6 | Furbert | 39% | 28 |
| #7 | A M B | 38% | 13 |
| #8 | Light3ris | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnybee | 2 | 0.0029 |
| #2 | Serioža | 2 | 0.0048 |
| #3 | jamanlele | 1 | 0.0019 |
| #4 | A M B | 1 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | midget | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnybee | 157 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #2 | Furbert | 90 | 0.14 | 2 min |
| #3 | Serioža | 74 | 0.18 | 1 min |
| #4 | jamanlele | 69 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #5 | Pepe | 37 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnybee | +3.45 | 83 | 75 |
| #2 | Furbert | +0.74 | 73 | 65 |
| #3 | jamanlele | +0.17 | 77 | 66 |
| #4 | A M B | -0.43 | 62 | 56 |
| #5 | midget | -0.67 | 53 | 69 |





