








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 110 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 218 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 32 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2458 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 13,127 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4723 | 36% |
| Smokes | 3259 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2972 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2173 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $524,761 of utility $83 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 297 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | geziux | 50% | 191 |
| #4 | pussycat | 50% | 158 |
| #5 | sokol | 47% | 47 |
| #6 | ketamini2 | 45% | 60 |
| #7 | Light3ris | 44% | 158 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | pussycat | 10 | 0.0032 |
| #2 | geziux | 6 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Light3ris | 6 | 0.0018 |
| #4 | ketamini2 | 3 | 0.0024 |
| #5 | johnybee | 3 | 0.0045 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | geziux | 444 | 0.11 | 11 min |
| #2 | Light3ris | 384 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | pussycat | 339 | 0.11 | 7 min |
| #4 | johnybee | 138 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| #5 | ketamini2 | 122 | 0.10 | 2 min |





