








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 5 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
278 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 930 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 214 | 23% |
| Smokes | 183 | 20% |
| HE Grenades | 307 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 226 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $91,329 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 4 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Pepe | 67% | 3 |
| #2 | midget | 67% | 3 |
| #3 | johnybee | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | Serioža | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | jamanlele | 56% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | johnybee | 67% | 15 |
| #4 | Serioža | 60% | 15 |
| #5 | jamanlele | 56% | 18 |
| #6 | Furbert | 46% | 13 |
| #7 | steak. | 38% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Serioža | 2 | 0.0066 |
| #2 | jamanlele | 1 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | johnybee | 1 | 0.0032 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnybee | 81 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| #2 | Serioža | 43 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | jamanlele | 41 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Furbert | 40 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | steak. | 31 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnybee | +4.41 | 87 | 77 |
| #2 | Furbert | +2.09 | 77 | 70 |
| #3 | midget | -0.17 | 51 | 75 |
| #4 | jamanlele | -0.53 | 70 | 62 |
| #5 | Serioža | -0.69 | 77 | 60 |





