








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 558 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 193 matches | ||
| Faceit | 76 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




8 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3581 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,218 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2937 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3412 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 2326 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2543 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,282,279 of utility $170 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vertigo | 67% | 46 |
| #2 | Grimbo | 60% | 91 |
| #3 | marek | 57% | 148 |
| #4 | syr4x | 56% | 142 |
| #5 | ✪ likeFuzzy. <3 VP | 53% | 173 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ likeFuzzy. <3 VP | 5 | 0.0014 |
| #2 | syr4x | 5 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | marek | 4 | 0.0012 |
| #4 | Vertigo | 4 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Grimbo | 3 | 0.0015 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | syr4x | 491 | 0.16 | 15 min |
| #2 | marek | 376 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | Aleinikow-_-ske#32 | 295 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #4 | ✪ likeFuzzy. <3 VP | 275 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | ncore | 254 | 0.12 | 6 min |





