








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 98 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 16 matches | ||
| Premier | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
503 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 946 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 213 | 23% |
| Smokes | 204 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 327 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 202 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $194,505 of utility $198 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 166 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Skorsten | 75% | 4 |
| #2 | d0gfromsky | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Hampen | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | ^Flækker med Blicher | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Hansiiiiii | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | d0gfromsky | 67% | 9 |
| #3 | Hampen | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | ^Flækker med Blicher | 56% | 16 |
| #5 | Hansiiiiii | 50% | 6 |
| #6 | Petrusmanden | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hampen | 1 | 0.0070 |
| #2 | Hansiiiiii | 1 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Skorsten | 1 | 1.0000 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Petrusmanden | 38 | 0.17 | 1 min |
| #2 | ^Flækker med Blicher | 17 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #3 | d0gfromsky | 14 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #4 | Hampen | 11 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | Hansiiiiii | 4 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | d0gfromsky | +2.72 | 67 | 76 |
| #2 | Petrusmanden | +1.63 | 68 | 61 |
| #3 | TTV/SirLordLort | +1.16 | 62 | 52 |
| #4 | Hansiiiiii | +0.23 | 75 | 42 |
| #5 | Hampen | +0.09 | 24 | 81 |





