








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1277 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 297 matches | ||
| Wingman | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5074 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 17,916 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2967 | 17% |
| Smokes | 4665 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 5738 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 4546 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,202,049 of utility $146 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 511 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jontelul | 64% | 39 |
| #2 | Yunes | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Hansiiiiii | 53% | 86 |
| #4 | ^Flækker med Blicher | 51% | 72 |
| #5 | Nørskov | 50% | 114 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | SyneX | 47% | 135 |
| #9 | Hampen | 46% | 158 |
| #10 | Mr. Bazz | 39% | 44 |
| #11 | Johnny Jawline | 28% | 69 |
| #12 | TeakiX | 24% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nørskov | 12 | 0.0052 |
| #2 | knivstikker | 12 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | Hampen | 9 | 0.0029 |
| #4 | SyneX | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | ^Flækker med Blicher | 8 | 0.0054 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SyneX | 279 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #2 | Hampen | 278 | 0.09 | 7 min |
| #3 | ^Flækker med Blicher | 230 | 0.16 | 6 min |
| #4 | Roasted | 147 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #5 | knivstikker | 144 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jontelul | +4.09 | 87 | 71 |
| #2 | d0gfromsky | +2.18 | 68 | 73 |
| #3 | Yunes | +1.16 | 86 | 56 |
| #4 | Hansiiiiii | +0.71 | 63 | 50 |
| #5 | Roasted | +0.44 | 63 | 61 |





