








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 41 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 43 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




49 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2838 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,368 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2389 | 26% |
| Smokes | 2256 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 2712 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 2011 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $657,401 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 455 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | R.A.T.S.S.Mr`Fluff | 55% | 71 |
| #9 | narcotexx | 53% | 140 |
| #10 | Zxrg☂ | 53% | 167 |
| #11 | Wakes | 42% | 19 |
| #12 | ihaveaids | 42% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | prettyglonky | 278 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | narcotexx | 259 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #3 | Biggus Baitus | 243 | 0.12 | 6 min |
| #4 | Zxrg☂ | 175 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #5 | Frodo Fraggins | 168 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flump | +2.04 | 73 | 55 |
| #2 | Biggus Baitus | +1.24 | 54 | 61 |
| #3 | Frodo Fraggins | +0.94 | 65 | 41 |
| #4 | Wakes | +0.65 | 71 | 47 |
| #5 | narcotexx | +0.42 | 71 | 51 |





