








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 527 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 380 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Faceit | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Renown | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 44 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3706 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,921 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3526 | 27% |
| Smokes | 3983 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 2911 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2501 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,418,180 of utility $143 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1031 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flump | 53% | 140 |
| #2 | Frodo Fraggins | 51% | 79 |
| #3 | Biggus Baitus | 50% | 52 |
| #4 | prettyglonky | 48% | 82 |
| #5 | Zxrg☂ | 47% | 134 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flump | 14 | 0.0048 |
| #2 | Macccka | 11 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | Frodo Fraggins | 10 | 0.0060 |
| #4 | prettyglonky | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Zxrg☂ | 8 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flump | 315 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | prettyglonky | 287 | 0.17 | 8 min |
| #3 | Frodo Fraggins | 190 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #4 | Zxrg☂ | 144 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #5 | Biggus Baitus | 125 | 0.11 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | flump | +1.77 | 72 | 55 |
| #2 | narcotexx | +0.80 | 72 | 53 |
| #3 | R.A.T.S.S.Mr`Fluff | +0.54 | 50 | 59 |
| #4 | Frodo Fraggins | +0.40 | 63 | 47 |
| #5 | Biggus Baitus | -0.19 | 48 | 62 |





