








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 522 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 134 matches | 1,636 | |
| Premier | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1701 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,699 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 875 | 24% |
| Smokes | 1101 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1058 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 665 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $831,317 of utility $211 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 260 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | uzone | 64% | 11 |
| #2 | PAPEGOJSEKLLI | 58% | 24 |
| #3 | TurboBOSSE | 53% | 62 |
| #4 | 𝓣𝓮$𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓷 | 49% | 97 |
| #5 | 𝘽𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙖𝙣 | 49% | 89 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0NESY | 7 | 0.0177 |
| #2 | 𝓣𝓮$𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓷 | 6 | 0.0028 |
| #3 | TurboBOSSE | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #4 | Lasertrallan3000 | 4 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | thunderbutcrack | 4 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lasertrallan3000 | 336 | 0.23 | 9 min |
| #2 | 𝘽𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙖𝙣 | 298 | 0.14 | 7 min |
| #3 | righteye1111 | 220 | 0.16 | 7 min |
| #4 | 𝓣𝓮$𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓷 | 155 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #5 | PAPEGOJSEKLLI | 141 | 0.22 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | righteye1111 | +5.17 | 89 | 68 |
| #2 | uzone | +1.33 | 84 | 58 |
| #3 | m0NESY | +1.13 | 78 | 41 |
| #4 | papi santana... okej okej okej | +0.82 | 66 | 34 |
| #5 | TurboBOSSE | +0.55 | 68 | 53 |





