








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1660 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 146 matches | 1,943 | |
| Premier | 25 matches | ||
| Faceit | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




3 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3071 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,229 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1995 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1382 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 2241 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1611 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $904,785 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 444 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lasertrallan3000 | 65% | 46 |
| #2 | TurboBOSSE | 63% | 16 |
| #3 | LusseQueZ | 60% | 25 |
| #4 | uzone | 59% | 56 |
| #5 | BrownEye.exe | 58% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 𝘽𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙖𝙣 | 48% | 67 |
| #8 | xSirSodomy😊😍😘 | 47% | 15 |
| #9 | PAPEGOJSEKLLI | 46% | 26 |
| #10 | papi santana... okej okej okej | 44% | 61 |
| #11 | Besten | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Besten | 5 | 0.0141 |
| #2 | 𝓣𝓮$𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓷 | 4 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | papi santana... okej okej okej | 3 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | Lasertrallan3000 | 2 | 0.0018 |
| #5 | TurboBOSSE | 2 | 0.0047 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 𝘽𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙖𝙣 | 255 | 0.17 | 5 min |
| #2 | Lasertrallan3000 | 250 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | uzone | 154 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | 𝓣𝓮$𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓷 | 129 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | PAPEGOJSEKLLI | 114 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | righteye1111 | +4.15 | 88 | 67 |
| #2 | Besten | +3.20 | 68 | 66 |
| #3 | LusseQueZ | +2.33 | 79 | 51 |
| #4 | uzone | +1.24 | 79 | 61 |
| #5 | xSirSodomy😊😍😘 | +0.57 | 45 | 56 |





