








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 520 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Esplay | 100 matches | 1,702 | |
| Premier | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2733 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1890 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1982 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 1277 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1177 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $752,269 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 282 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0NESY | 18 | 0.0144 |
| #2 | papi santana... okej okej okej | 10 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | 𝓣𝓮$𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓷 | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #4 | 𝘽𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙖𝙣 | 4 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Lasertrallan3000 | 2 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | m0NESY | 236 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #2 | Lasertrallan3000 | 220 | 0.22 | 6 min |
| #3 | 𝘽𝙚𝙣𝙜𝙖𝙣 | 208 | 0.15 | 5 min |
| #4 | 𝓣𝓮$𝓪𝓬𝓴𝓮𝓷 | 190 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | papi santana... okej okej okej | 120 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | righteye1111 | +6.74 | 90 | 72 |
| #2 | m0NESY | +2.23 | 88 | 52 |
| #3 | papi santana... okej okej okej | +1.91 | 69 | 30 |
| #4 | PAPEGOJSEKLLI | +1.11 | 70 | 62 |
| #5 | TurboBOSSE | +0.99 | 74 | 56 |





