










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 567 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 81 matches | ||
| Premier | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 55 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




18 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2891 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 10,662 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3953 | 37% |
| Smokes | 2284 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 2693 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1732 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,056,295 of utility $153 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 186 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maître Pims | 49% | 87 |
| #2 | grimlins | 49% | 175 |
| #3 | latency enjoyer | 48% | 31 |
| #4 | NeuTroNBZh | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | CROW | 42% | 53 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | latency enjoyer | 48% | 31 |
| #4 | NeuTroNBZh | 46% | 26 |
| #5 | CROW | 42% | 53 |
| #6 | ✘𝓢𝓽𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓴𝓪✘ | 32% | 28 |
| #7 | je vais te branler | 26% | 47 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | je vais te branler | 18 | 0.0187 |
| #2 | Maître Pims | 9 | 0.0051 |
| #3 | grimlins | 7 | 0.0020 |
| #4 | ✘𝓢𝓽𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓴𝓪✘ | 4 | 0.0072 |
| #5 | CROW | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | grimlins | 430 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | Maître Pims | 416 | 0.23 | 12 min |
| #3 | je vais te branler | 193 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #4 | ✘𝓢𝓽𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓴𝓪✘ | 132 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | latency enjoyer | 49 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Maître Pims | +5.60 | 75 | 69 |
| #2 | NeuTroNBZh | +2.49 | 63 | 48 |
| #3 | ✘𝓢𝓽𝓮𝓮𝓵𝓴𝓪✘ | +1.19 | 60 | 63 |
| #4 | grimlins | +1.10 | 44 | 52 |
| #5 | latency enjoyer | -0.20 | 45 | 50 |





