










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 45 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 164 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Premier | 5 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2685 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,872 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3127 | 35% |
| Smokes | 2238 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1540 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1967 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $275,092 of utility $69 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 23 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoJo | 86% | 21 |
| #2 | freshie | 73% | 33 |
| #3 | MarKE | 64% | 11 |
| #4 | calamity | 63% | 16 |
| #5 | SLIGHT | 62% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #12 | DeniEd | 42% | 12 |
| #13 | Marro | 39% | 23 |
| #14 | BeaKie | 38% | 16 |
| #15 | Evan | 36% | 11 |
| #16 | steel | 30% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoJo | 7 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | snav | 1 | 0.0011 |
| #3 | jchancE | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | brett | 1 | 0.0016 |
| #5 | calamity | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | freshie | 199 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #2 | Marro | 172 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | snav | 144 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | dea | 144 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #5 | brett | 132 | 0.21 | 4 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gavin | +3.25 | 91 | 69 |
| #2 | Wolffe | +3.14 | 90 | 73 |
| #3 | MarKE | +3.08 | 85 | 70 |
| #4 | dea | +2.10 | 93 | 61 |
| #5 | DeniEd | +1.06 | 80 | 61 |





