








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 178 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4048 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,287 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3136 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3034 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1862 | 16% |
| Molotovs | 3255 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $892,306 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 285 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | bven | 72% | 29 |
| #2 | Kung Fu Panda | 70% | 54 |
| #3 | SCORPY | 65% | 26 |
| #4 | Green | 63% | 76 |
| #5 | Easterpink | 63% | 32 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Green | 18 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | Kung Fu Panda | 14 | 0.0123 |
| #3 | CMON3Y | 9 | 0.0045 |
| #4 | RemixedPixel | 5 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | bven | 4 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A Decently Paid Janitor | +2.88 | 79 | 58 |
| #2 | bven | +2.25 | 83 | 56 |
| #3 | CMON3Y | +1.80 | 80 | 66 |
| #4 | SCORPY | +1.10 | 75 | 58 |
| #5 | Green | +0.81 | 58 | 53 |





