








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 259 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 185 matches | ||
| Premier | 156 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




75 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3353 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,183 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4080 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1267 | 11% |
| HE Grenades | 2822 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3014 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $318,383 of utility $39 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2074 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A Decently Paid Janitor | 70% | 54 |
| #2 | RemixedPixel | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | Easterpink | 64% | 25 |
| #4 | Green | 56% | 57 |
| #5 | CMON3Y | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A Decently Paid Janitor | 70% | 54 |
| #2 | RemixedPixel | 68% | 22 |
| #3 | Easterpink | 64% | 25 |
| #4 | Green | 56% | 57 |
| #5 | CMON3Y | 46% | 39 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Green | 18 | 0.0157 |
| #2 | CMON3Y | 15 | 0.0192 |
| #3 | A Decently Paid Janitor | 6 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | RemixedPixel | 3 | 0.0062 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CMON3Y | 254 | 0.33 | 6 min |
| #2 | Green | 231 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #3 | A Decently Paid Janitor | 178 | 0.16 | 4 min |
| #4 | RemixedPixel | 54 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #5 | Easterpink | 23 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | A Decently Paid Janitor | +4.53 | 82 | 59 |
| #2 | CMON3Y | +3.15 | 83 | 65 |
| #3 | Green | +2.66 | 62 | 50 |
| #4 | RemixedPixel | +2.33 | 64 | 35 |
| #5 | Kung Fu Panda | +0.02 | 50 | 51 |





