








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 833 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 158 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1420 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,671 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2308 | 27% |
| Smokes | 2329 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2027 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2007 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $877,818 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 84 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chowderfish | 53% | 153 |
| #2 | Goose | 51% | 133 |
| #3 | fizz :*muah | 51% | 120 |
| #4 | Gamer Girl | 50% | 56 |
| #5 | Dub Shitty | 49% | 150 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Goose | 51% | 133 |
| #3 | fizz :*muah | 51% | 120 |
| #4 | Gamer Girl | 50% | 56 |
| #5 | Dub Shitty | 49% | 150 |
| #6 | JimmyYakitori | 38% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chowderfish | 9 | 0.0027 |
| #2 | Dub Shitty | 5 | 0.0015 |
| #3 | Goose | 4 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | fizz :*muah | 3 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | Gamer Girl | 3 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fizz :*muah | 532 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #2 | Dub Shitty | 396 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #3 | Goose | 371 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #4 | chowderfish | 277 | 0.08 | 7 min |
| #5 | Gamer Girl | 115 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chowderfish | +4.45 | 90 | 58 |
| #2 | Goose | +1.22 | 74 | 67 |
| #3 | fizz :*muah | +0.82 | 71 | 68 |
| #4 | Nilyajium | -1.63 | 52 | 71 |
| #5 | Gamer Girl | -2.19 | 71 | 55 |





