








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 440 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 215 matches | ||
| Faceit | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 10 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3785 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,688 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3838 | 26% |
| Smokes | 3705 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 3685 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 3460 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $961,568 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 752 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JvX_tv | 61% | 23 |
| #2 | Keelo | 57% | 122 |
| #3 | nitefly | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | Splaylion | 42% | 48 |
| #5 | DreamzMeister | 41% | 74 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | nitefly | 49% | 43 |
| #4 | Splaylion | 42% | 48 |
| #5 | DreamzMeister | 41% | 74 |
| #6 | OogybeAr | 39% | 122 |
| #7 | c0hen | 25% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Keelo | 10 | 0.0038 |
| #2 | Splaylion | 6 | 0.0061 |
| #3 | c0hen | 4 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | OogybeAr | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | DreamzMeister | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | OogybeAr | 725 | 0.29 | 22 min |
| #2 | DreamzMeister | 238 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #3 | Keelo | 223 | 0.08 | 6 min |
| #4 | JvX_tv | 117 | 0.24 | 3 min |
| #5 | nitefly | 95 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JvX_tv | +0.89 | 80 | 59 |
| #2 | Splaylion | +0.86 | 78 | 35 |
| #3 | Tydy3 | +0.57 | 64 | 63 |
| #4 | Keelo | +0.40 | 80 | 67 |
| #5 | nitefly | +0.00 | 79 | 54 |





