








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1051 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 58 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4656 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,705 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3829 | 26% |
| Smokes | 5360 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 2034 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 3482 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,181,679 of utility $137 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 191 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Israel | 62% | 157 |
| #2 | I WAS THERE | 57% | 145 |
| #3 | Amethyst | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | 200m Eoka Spray™ | 51% | 201 |
| #5 | Zephyrrus | 47% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Captain Israel | 62% | 157 |
| #2 | I WAS THERE | 57% | 145 |
| #3 | Amethyst | 52% | 23 |
| #4 | 200m Eoka Spray™ | 51% | 201 |
| #5 | Zephyrrus | 47% | 59 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 200m Eoka Spray™ | 40 | 0.0099 |
| #2 | I WAS THERE | 14 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | Captain Israel | 13 | 0.0042 |
| #4 | Amethyst | 9 | 0.0209 |
| #5 | Zephyrrus | 7 | 0.0060 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 200m Eoka Spray™ | 751 | 0.19 | 17 min |
| #2 | Zephyrrus | 237 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #3 | I WAS THERE | 66 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | Captain Israel | 65 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #5 | Amethyst | 21 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | asiaX | +3.84 | 72 | 66 |
| #2 | Zephyrrus | +1.95 | 38 | 54 |
| #3 | 200m Eoka Spray™ | +0.25 | 68 | 61 |
| #4 | Captain Israel | -0.34 | 32 | 22 |
| #5 | I WAS THERE | -3.00 | 42 | 39 |





