








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 10 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Office | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Premier | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
741 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,394 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 610 | 25% |
| Smokes | 509 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 541 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 734 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $354,814 of utility $88 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 3 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zephyrrus | 400 | 0.19 | 8 min |
| #2 | RousingShip | 137 | 0.11 | 4 min |
| #3 | AgentE0464 | 68 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | ββ€ eXist πΈπΈ | 61 | 0.05 | 2 min |
| #5 | asiaX | 48 | 0.11 | 1 min |





