








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 95 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,576 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2723 | 41% |
| Smokes | 1494 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 1284 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 1075 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $682,934 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #10 | swagders | 49% | 47 |
| #11 | Maple | 48% | 62 |
| #12 | BLACKMAN | 44% | 61 |
| #13 | cyka | 41% | 17 |
| #14 | Raspaballer | 33% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | chillaG😵💫 | 17 | 0.0320 |
| #2 | swagders | 7 | 0.0072 |
| #3 | HILTI TE-7 | 7 | 0.0230 |
| #4 | Maple | 5 | 0.0037 |
| #5 | BLACKMAN | 5 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | evdi | 235 | 0.20 | 5 min |
| #2 | 4strand | 127 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | chillaG😵💫 | 122 | 0.23 | 3 min |
| #4 | BLACKMAN | 105 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #5 | Nuben | 104 | 0.30 | 3 min |





