








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 293 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 6 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4257 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 14,180 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3995 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3432 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 3751 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 3002 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $445,381 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 130 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | dan1l | 70% | 20 |
| #2 | VorTexPrimezZ | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | IronTony | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | row | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | 5ch0lli | 39% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | VorTexPrimezZ | 53% | 19 |
| #3 | IronTony | 50% | 18 |
| #4 | row | 44% | 18 |
| #5 | 5ch0lli | 39% | 18 |
| #6 | Haaky | 28% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5ch0lli | 2 | 0.0024 |
| #2 | dan1l | 2 | 0.0046 |
| #3 | Haaky | 1 | 0.0012 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 5ch0lli | 144 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #2 | IronTony | 143 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #3 | VorTexPrimezZ | 96 | 0.22 | 2 min |
| #4 | dan1l | 88 | 0.20 | 2 min |
| #5 | row | 75 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | jimmY-A-EIZO | +2.20 | 68 | 70 |
| #2 | VorTexPrimezZ | +1.22 | 68 | 78 |
| #3 | dan1l | +1.06 | 94 | 61 |
| #4 | row | -0.34 | 79 | 67 |
| #5 | IronTony | -0.74 | 67 | 65 |





