








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 428 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 765 matches | ||
| Faceit | 20 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 65 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




46 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7449 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,749 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4298 | 16% |
| Smokes | 7619 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 7362 | 28% |
| Molotovs | 7470 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,510,588 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 688 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maly chuj | 51% | 425 |
| #2 | jownz sitting on Herman Miller | 50% | 340 |
| #3 | tK4y/r | 47% | 101 |
| #4 | arnolduzz | 46% | 123 |
| #5 | sciencjee | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maly chuj | 51% | 425 |
| #2 | jownz sitting on Herman Miller | 50% | 340 |
| #3 | tK4y/r | 47% | 101 |
| #4 | arnolduzz | 46% | 123 |
| #5 | sciencjee | 43% | 61 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maly chuj | 21 | 0.0023 |
| #2 | tK4y/r | 9 | 0.0042 |
| #3 | jownz sitting on Herman Miller | 4 | 0.0006 |
| #4 | arnolduzz | 2 | 0.0008 |
| #5 | sciencjee | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | maly chuj | 524 | 0.06 | 16 min |
| #2 | arnolduzz | 509 | 0.20 | 13 min |
| #3 | jownz sitting on Herman Miller | 364 | 0.05 | 10 min |
| #4 | tK4y/r | 272 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | sciencjee | 39 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Claus-Henning Schulke | +0.95 | 81 | 54 |
| #2 | arnolduzz | +0.60 | 75 | 68 |
| #3 | maly chuj | +0.43 | 77 | 63 |
| #4 | tK4y/r | +0.05 | 68 | 56 |
| #5 | sciencjee | -0.02 | 88 | 42 |





