








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 90 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 415 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3318 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,422 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3975 | 32% |
| Smokes | 3231 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 2849 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 2367 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,434,352 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 12 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Claus-Henning Schulke | 50% | 340 |
| #2 | maly chuj | 50% | 351 |
| #3 | tK4y/r | 48% | 140 |
| #4 | arnolduzz | 47% | 90 |
| #5 | sciencjee | 37% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Claus-Henning Schulke | 50% | 340 |
| #2 | maly chuj | 50% | 351 |
| #3 | tK4y/r | 48% | 140 |
| #4 | arnolduzz | 47% | 90 |
| #5 | sciencjee | 37% | 60 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Claus-Henning Schulke | 18 | 0.0025 |
| #2 | maly chuj | 13 | 0.0018 |
| #3 | tK4y/r | 9 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | arnolduzz | 2 | 0.0011 |
| #5 | sciencjee | 1 | 0.0008 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Claus-Henning Schulke | 547 | 0.08 | 11 min |
| #2 | maly chuj | 428 | 0.06 | 13 min |
| #3 | arnolduzz | 386 | 0.21 | 11 min |
| #4 | tK4y/r | 378 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #5 | sciencjee | 49 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | arnolduzz | +1.08 | 76 | 70 |
| #2 | Claus-Henning Schulke | +1.01 | 81 | 55 |
| #3 | tK4y/r | +0.58 | 67 | 58 |
| #4 | maly chuj | +0.53 | 75 | 65 |
| #5 | sciencjee | -0.00 | 89 | 47 |





