








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 395 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 556 matches | ||
| Faceit | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




23 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5390 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,577 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4160 | 27% |
| Smokes | 4088 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 3781 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 3548 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,365,797 of utility $181 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 67 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Claus-Henning Schulke | 51% | 425 |
| #2 | tK4y/r | 50% | 122 |
| #3 | jownz sitting on Herman Miller | 50% | 351 |
| #4 | arnolduzz | 45% | 82 |
| #5 | sciencjee | 42% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Claus-Henning Schulke | 51% | 425 |
| #2 | tK4y/r | 50% | 122 |
| #3 | jownz sitting on Herman Miller | 50% | 351 |
| #4 | arnolduzz | 45% | 82 |
| #5 | sciencjee | 42% | 64 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Claus-Henning Schulke | 23 | 0.0026 |
| #2 | tK4y/r | 6 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | jownz sitting on Herman Miller | 5 | 0.0007 |
| #4 | sciencjee | 1 | 0.0007 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Claus-Henning Schulke | 609 | 0.07 | 13 min |
| #2 | jownz sitting on Herman Miller | 384 | 0.05 | 11 min |
| #3 | arnolduzz | 354 | 0.21 | 10 min |
| #4 | tK4y/r | 331 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #5 | sciencjee | 50 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Claus-Henning Schulke | +1.27 | 81 | 52 |
| #2 | arnolduzz | +0.63 | 73 | 70 |
| #3 | maly chuj | +0.62 | 77 | 63 |
| #4 | tK4y/r | +0.55 | 67 | 56 |
| #5 | sciencjee | +0.27 | 89 | 49 |





