








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 15 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 4 different maps




Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
54 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 275 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 50 | 18% |
| Smokes | 40 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 111 | 40% |
| Molotovs | 74 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $14,800 of utility $106 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patshu | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Damcore | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Sevice | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Schoeler | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Sm1ley | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Patshu | 50% | 4 |
| #2 | Damcore | 50% | 4 |
| #3 | Sevice | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Schoeler | 50% | 8 |
| #5 | Sm1ley | 50% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schoeler | 16 | 0.14 | 0 min |
| #2 | Sm1ley | 9 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #3 | Damcore | 9 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #4 | Sevice | 5 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #5 | Patshu | 2 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schoeler | +4.57 | 93 | 59 |
| #2 | Sevice | +4.55 | 82 | 74 |
| #3 | Damcore | -0.82 | 70 | 62 |
| #4 | Sm1ley | -2.76 | 66 | 76 |
| #5 | Patshu | -5.07 | 44 | 22 |





