








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 12 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 164 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2122 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,173 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1613 | 22% |
| Smokes | 1798 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 1714 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2048 | 29% |
Our logs show you have wasted $336,951 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sevice | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | Schoeler | 53% | 78 |
| #3 | Sm1ley | 48% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sevice | 58% | 36 |
| #2 | Schoeler | 53% | 78 |
| #3 | Sm1ley | 48% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sm1ley | 1 | 0.0010 |
| #2 | Sevice | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schoeler | 240 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #2 | Sm1ley | 121 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | Sevice | 119 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sevice | +2.08 | 75 | 70 |
| #2 | Schoeler | +0.92 | 84 | 63 |
| #3 | Damcore | -0.36 | 69 | 63 |
| #4 | Sm1ley | -1.32 | 58 | 55 |





