








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 68 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 116 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 50 matches | ||
| Wingman | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2498 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,894 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1536 | 22% |
| Smokes | 2100 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1879 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1379 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $930,583 of utility $174 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 75 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p a t u | 56% | 57 |
| #2 | JD | 55% | 33 |
| #3 | Rantanplan | 53% | 62 |
| #4 | sLg|LucKeR | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | Diva | 51% | 98 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | mimas | 48% | 52 |
| #8 | sLg|Noumet | 48% | 101 |
| #9 | Jon4s | 47% | 38 |
| #10 | Schriis | 43% | 51 |
| #11 | LiZa | 33% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLg|Noumet | 6 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Diva | 5 | 0.0024 |
| #3 | p a t u | 4 | 0.0035 |
| #4 | JD | 3 | 0.0046 |
| #5 | mimas | 2 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sLg|Noumet | 250 | 0.12 | 7 min |
| #2 | mimas | 203 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| #3 | Schriis | 130 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | p a t u | 120 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | JD | 112 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | p a t u | +4.20 | 82 | 50 |
| #2 | sLg|Noumet | +2.73 | 82 | 60 |
| #3 | JD | +1.37 | 65 | 56 |
| #4 | mimas | +1.27 | 76 | 65 |
| #5 | Warum | +0.76 | 75 | 59 |





