










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 212 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 457 matches | ||
| Wingman | 57 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 34 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5538 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 22,751 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3725 | 16% |
| Smokes | 6462 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 5421 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 7143 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,800,518 of utility $125 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 424 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Satex | 46% | 52 |
| #9 | Fabregas_The_4 | 44% | 68 |
| #10 | p4t_K | 44% | 91 |
| #11 | Nax | 43% | 40 |
| #12 | Beercules | 40% | 99 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scheppertonne | 11 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | Scheppertonne | 7 | 0.0026 |
| #3 | Le Chef | 6 | 0.0023 |
| #4 | Beercules | 6 | 0.0029 |
| #5 | Fabregas_The_4 | 6 | 0.0042 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scheppertonne | 865 | 0.23 | 18 min |
| #2 | Scheppertonne | 596 | 0.22 | 14 min |
| #3 | Le Chef | 480 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #4 | p4t_K | 223 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #5 | Beercules | 213 | 0.10 | 5 min |





