








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 767 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 595 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 187 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5477 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,204 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4599 | 28% |
| Smokes | 4622 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 3774 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 3209 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,075,973 of utility $202 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 617 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trainman | 52% | 97 |
| #2 | fatal | 50% | 38 |
| #3 | Scheppertonne | 50% | 94 |
| #4 | mimo | 50% | 98 |
| #5 | p4t_K | 48% | 137 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beercules | 9 | 0.0015 |
| #2 | Le Chef | 9 | 0.0016 |
| #3 | Icey | 9 | 0.0036 |
| #4 | keyboard | 9 | 0.0052 |
| #5 | Fabregas_The_4 | 7 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Le Chef | 1077 | 0.19 | 31 min |
| #2 | Beercules | 558 | 0.09 | 15 min |
| #3 | Scheppertonne | 397 | 0.20 | 8 min |
| #4 | p4t_K | 394 | 0.14 | 10 min |
| #5 | Scheppertonne | 248 | 0.19 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Trainman | +2.10 | 67 | 44 |
| #2 | koeni | +1.28 | 74 | 55 |
| #3 | Scheppertonne | +0.37 | 69 | 65 |
| #4 | Scheppertonne | +0.30 | 55 | 66 |
| #5 | mimo | -0.07 | 45 | 37 |





