








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1075 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 64 matches | ||
| Premier | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




15 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2533 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 9,131 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1000 | 11% |
| Smokes | 3162 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1611 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3358 | 37% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,033,973 of utility $232 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 176 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Karla and Latifa “2g1c” | 51% | 116 |
| #10 | jesus christ. | 49% | 47 |
| #11 | Frandingo | 47% | 86 |
| #12 | BigTasty | 46% | 63 |
| #13 | Sheer | 42% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hal Wilkerson | 411 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #2 | Karla and Latifa “2g1c” | 256 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | Frandingo | 220 | 0.13 | 7 min |
| #4 | Robin | 209 | 0.16 | 5 min |
| #5 | Barry Manilow | 155 | 0.15 | 3 min |





