










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 552 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Premier | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 30 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
787 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,327 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1530 | 35% |
| Smokes | 938 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 815 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 1044 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $942,198 of utility $255 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 229 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #8 | Rodent.jpg | 51% | 173 |
| #9 | Sheer | 50% | 10 |
| #10 | Frandingo | 44% | 55 |
| #11 | Mr Clippy | 42% | 69 |
| #12 | jesus christ. | 14% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Robin | 151 | 0.20 | 3 min |
| #2 | Rodent.jpg | 141 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #3 | Frandingo | 130 | 0.12 | 4 min |
| #4 | Karla and Latifa “2g1c” | 70 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #5 | fishyflap420 | 49 | 0.16 | 1 min |





