








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 740 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 264 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 128 matches | ||
| Wingman | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 38 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




183 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6378 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 20,871 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5053 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5473 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 6554 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 3791 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,841,274 of utility $129 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1454 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sloppy Fat Boy | 48% | 48 |
| #2 | Cynex | 48% | 119 |
| #3 | FONDLA | 47% | 245 |
| #4 | Chad | 44% | 113 |
| #5 | slytech | 43% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | FONDLA | 140 | 0.0299 |
| #2 | gooncel | 43 | 0.0184 |
| #3 | Cynex | 19 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | Chad | 14 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | slytech | 14 | 0.0156 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Chad | 552 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #2 | FONDLA | 279 | 0.06 | 6 min |
| #3 | gooncel | 133 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #4 | Sloppy Fat Boy | 128 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #5 | Cynex | 108 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuJu | +1.94 | 85 | 60 |
| #2 | Cynex | +1.44 | 70 | 48 |
| #3 | Sloppy Fat Boy | +0.91 | 44 | 66 |
| #4 | FONDLA | +0.71 | 71 | 36 |
| #5 | gooncel | -0.22 | 29 | 37 |





