








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 26 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




25 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1841 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,948 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 678 | 17% |
| Smokes | 1409 | 36% |
| HE Grenades | 1020 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 841 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $558,185 of utility $141 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 32 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sloppy Fat Boy | 63% | 16 |
| #2 | FONDLA | 54% | 97 |
| #3 | slytech | 53% | 15 |
| #4 | Chad | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | JuJu | 48% | 119 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuJu | 208 | 0.09 | 5 min |
| #2 | FONDLA | 122 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Chad | 110 | 0.32 | 3 min |
| #4 | gooncel | 57 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | Milwaukee Cordless Impact Drill | 48 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JuJu | +1.54 | 86 | 57 |
| #2 | Cynex | +1.43 | 68 | 48 |
| #3 | Milwaukee Cordless Impact Drill | +0.27 | 61 | 52 |
| #4 | gooncel | -0.67 | 23 | 46 |
| #5 | Sloppy Fat Boy | -0.69 | 46 | 63 |





