








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 28 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 62 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




1 of your human shaped victims was your teammate...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
806 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,480 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 707 | 29% |
| Smokes | 673 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 482 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 618 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $154,752 of utility $94 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 5 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Preacher | 100% | 4 |
| #2 | fr0stbyte | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | excite | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | I JUST DIED IN YOUR HONOUR | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | THE HONORED ONE | 47% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | fr0stbyte | 63% | 8 |
| #3 | excite | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | I JUST DIED IN YOUR HONOUR | 50% | 18 |
| #5 | THE HONORED ONE | 47% | 30 |
| #6 | Jake | 45% | 31 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | I JUST DIED IN YOUR HONOUR | 1 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake | 158 | 0.23 | 4 min |
| #2 | THE HONORED ONE | 82 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | fr0stbyte | 55 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #4 | I JUST DIED IN YOUR HONOUR | 28 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #5 | Preacher | 18 | 0.21 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | fr0stbyte | +2.72 | 73 | 82 |
| #2 | Jake | +1.32 | 73 | 53 |
| #3 | Airstrike [APE] | +0.29 | 81 | 53 |
| #4 | Preacher | -0.31 | 44 | 58 |
| #5 | THE HONORED ONE | -0.38 | 67 | 50 |





