








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 489 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 411 matches | ||
| Premier | 32 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 25 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6002 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 16,521 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4699 | 28% |
| Smokes | 3098 | 19% |
| HE Grenades | 4966 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 3758 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,551,493 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1244 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnismagic | 70% | 73 |
| #2 | -fr0stbyte | 68% | 108 |
| #3 | aldo | 63% | 68 |
| #4 | Jake | 62% | 215 |
| #5 | argy#25/8 | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | johnismagic | 70% | 73 |
| #2 | -fr0stbyte | 68% | 108 |
| #3 | aldo | 63% | 68 |
| #4 | Jake | 62% | 215 |
| #5 | argy#25/8 | 41% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake | 6 | 0.0013 |
| #2 | -fr0stbyte | 1 | 0.0004 |
| #3 | argy#25/8 | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jake | 767 | 0.16 | 18 min |
| #2 | -fr0stbyte | 635 | 0.27 | 19 min |
| #3 | aldo | 274 | 0.18 | 6 min |
| #4 | johnismagic | 213 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #5 | argy#25/8 | 112 | 0.18 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | -fr0stbyte | +2.85 | 82 | 88 |
| #2 | aldo | +1.59 | 77 | 57 |
| #3 | Jake | +1.52 | 74 | 56 |
| #4 | snorkle dirt VII | +0.76 | 74 | 63 |
| #5 | johnismagic | +0.08 | 84 | 59 |





