








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 111 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
751 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,237 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 627 | 28% |
| Smokes | 662 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 430 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 518 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $264,309 of utility $190 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 133 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | w4rden | 80% | 15 |
| #5 | BlacK | 76% | 34 |
| #6 | realzen | 76% | 21 |
| #7 | SaltyPatty | 67% | 6 |
| #8 | Beavis- | 65% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlacK | 17 | 0.0255 |
| #2 | realzen | 6 | 0.0144 |
| #3 | PIL C | 5 | 0.0329 |
| #4 | Beavis- | 3 | 0.0064 |
| #5 | w4rden | 1 | 0.0035 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | BlacK | 106 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | w4rden | 62 | 0.22 | 1 min |
| #3 | PIL C | 60 | 0.39 | 2 min |
| #4 | realzen | 54 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #5 | Beavis- | 48 | 0.10 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The eLiVe | +6.16 | 93 | 78 |
| #2 | PIL C | +5.51 | 91 | 66 |
| #3 | BlacK | +2.56 | 93 | 62 |
| #4 | realzen | +2.51 | 86 | 65 |
| #5 | nikk0☆ | +1.86 | 81 | 59 |





