








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 216 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 79 matches | ||
| Faceit | 57 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1737 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,695 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1701 | 30% |
| Smokes | 1214 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1509 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 1271 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $525,911 of utility $164 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 778 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jachro | 80% | 10 |
| #2 | -Sharpie- | 75% | 8 |
| #3 | Panic | 75% | 32 |
| #4 | KrakenS tradeit.gg | 71% | 28 |
| #5 | BATSPEED | 71% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Panic | 75% | 32 |
| #4 | KrakenS tradeit.gg | 71% | 28 |
| #5 | BATSPEED | 71% | 17 |
| #6 | ASS CANNON | 67% | 39 |
| #7 | TRGR | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ASS CANNON | 1 | 0.0012 |
| #2 | KrakenS tradeit.gg | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KrakenS tradeit.gg | 131 | 0.22 | 4 min |
| #2 | Panic | 118 | 0.19 | 3 min |
| #3 | ASS CANNON | 115 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| #4 | BATSPEED | 68 | 0.19 | 1 min |
| #5 | TRGR | 65 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Panic | +3.56 | 83 | 67 |
| #2 | BATSPEED | +2.24 | 83 | 49 |
| #3 | Ryno | +1.94 | 76 | 60 |
| #4 | Jachro | +1.52 | 70 | 71 |
| #5 | ASS CANNON | +0.65 | 74 | 74 |





