








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 969 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 306 matches | ||
| Faceit | 150 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 113 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




6 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5555 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,936 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8130 | 31% |
| Smokes | 6459 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 5609 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 5738 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $952,461 of utility $81 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 835 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | TRGR | 68% | 34 |
| #2 | Ryno | 67% | 39 |
| #3 | KrakenS tradeit.gg | 61% | 36 |
| #4 | Nohte | 60% | 89 |
| #5 | ambassador | 56% | 77 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Assume | 418 | 0.19 | 10 min |
| #2 | Nohte | 336 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #3 | ambassador | 278 | 0.17 | 7 min |
| #4 | Ryno | 175 | 0.22 | 5 min |
| #5 | TRGR | 162 | 0.21 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nohte | +2.38 | 61 | 64 |
| #2 | Ryno | +1.85 | 76 | 60 |
| #3 | ambassador | +1.63 | 83 | 70 |
| #4 | ASS CANNON | +1.35 | 75 | 74 |
| #5 | Assume | +0.70 | 86 | 59 |





