








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 205 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 119 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 21 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1044 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,488 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1495 | 33% |
| Smokes | 1027 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 926 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 1040 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $429,046 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 43 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fully Autistic | 57% | 21 |
| #2 | Cucumber | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Fnatic | Dmitri | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Bread | 48% | 21 |
| #5 | THELAW (Xe/Xem) [Non-bin] | 47% | 17 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | holy Paul | 10 | 0.0405 |
| #2 | Cucumber | 7 | 0.0117 |
| #3 | Fully Autistic | 7 | 0.0166 |
| #4 | THELAW (Xe/Xem) [Non-bin] | 7 | 0.0209 |
| #5 | Fnatic | Dmitri | 4 | 0.0098 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | THELAW (Xe/Xem) [Non-bin] | 95 | 0.28 | 2 min |
| #2 | Fully Autistic | 67 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | Cucumber | 66 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Bread | 64 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #5 | Sarahpride (she/her) | 51 | 0.25 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Fnatic | Dmitri | +4.63 | 65 | 61 |
| #2 | holy Paul | +4.51 | 64 | 65 |
| #3 | Sarahpride (she/her) | +3.39 | 63 | 68 |
| #4 | MickRoss | +0.96 | 59 | 59 |
| #5 | Bread | +0.22 | 63 | 57 |





