








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 47 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 65 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




5 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1306 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,243 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1510 | 47% |
| Smokes | 797 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 373 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 563 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $374,424 of utility $160 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 136 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | kentucky1_ | 44% | 9 |
| #8 | DRUNKMAN | 44% | 41 |
| #9 | Swaey | 39% | 18 |
| #10 | MayMay | 31% | 16 |
| #11 | Dir7y | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | nutz | 131 | 0.28 | 5 min |
| #2 | Swaey | 110 | 0.27 | 4 min |
| #3 | Sleep=Death | 109 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #4 | DRUNKMAN | 107 | 0.12 | 3 min |
| #5 | MayMay | 103 | 0.26 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dir7y | +3.43 | 71 | 60 |
| #2 | Swaey | +1.75 | 80 | 70 |
| #3 | nutz | +1.62 | 58 | 70 |
| #4 | Chasticle(*aka Dr. Respect) | +1.62 | 67 | 51 |
| #5 | DRUNKMAN | +1.36 | 74 | 47 |





