








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 882 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 341 matches | ||
| Premier | 243 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 35 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




58 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6071 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 29,108 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11327 | 39% |
| Smokes | 7102 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 4013 | 14% |
| Molotovs | 6666 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,587,389 of utility $110 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 405 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DRUNKMAN | 51% | 446 |
| #2 | Sleep=Death | 51% | 273 |
| #3 | protein cigarette | 50% | 38 |
| #4 | LatteLarry | 49% | 51 |
| #5 | Chasticle(*aka Dr. Respect) | 48% | 218 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | DRUNKMAN | 1142 | 0.12 | 21 min |
| #2 | Chasticle(*aka Dr. Respect) | 993 | 0.20 | 22 min |
| #3 | Sleep=Death | 773 | 0.13 | 19 min |
| #4 | Prezid | 217 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #5 | LatteLarry | 81 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sleep=Death | +1.29 | 85 | 52 |
| #2 | Chasticle(*aka Dr. Respect) | +1.01 | 62 | 58 |
| #3 | Prezid | +0.87 | 70 | 55 |
| #4 | DRUNKMAN | +0.79 | 66 | 49 |
| #5 | MayMay | +0.02 | 65 | 65 |





