








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 109 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 13 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1330 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,470 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 850 | 34% |
| Smokes | 1197 | 48% |
| HE Grenades | 78 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 345 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $549,775 of utility $140 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 200 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cuntpuncher | 54% | 26 |
| #2 | Farg | 48% | 46 |
| #3 | tea | 47% | 114 |
| #4 | Weechie8a | 47% | 47 |
| #5 | Quark | 45% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tea | 130 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #2 | calvinisonline | 70 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #3 | Jekoinkuiloinks | 65 | 0.15 | 2 min |
| #4 | Farg | 29 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | JoystickLuv 🎮 (Cute Feet FYI) | 29 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Quark | +5.07 | 86 | 48 |
| #2 | calvinisonline | +2.98 | 54 | 39 |
| #3 | tea | +1.99 | 83 | 46 |
| #4 | JoystickLuv 🎮 (Cute Feet FYI) | +1.06 | 50 | 37 |
| #5 | .lvnexwvlf. | +0.14 | 47 | 32 |





