








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 136 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 167 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 62 matches | ||
| Premier | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 22 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




42 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3936 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,518 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2413 | 19% |
| Smokes | 2934 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 4170 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 3001 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,018,363 of utility $114 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoystickLuv 🎮 (Cute Feet FYI) | 51% | 224 |
| #2 | Jekoinkuiloinks | 50% | 299 |
| #3 | cuntpuncher | 46% | 157 |
| #4 | .lvnexwvlf. | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoystickLuv 🎮 (Cute Feet FYI) | 51% | 224 |
| #2 | Jekoinkuiloinks | 50% | 299 |
| #3 | cuntpuncher | 46% | 157 |
| #4 | .lvnexwvlf. | 39% | 28 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoystickLuv 🎮 (Cute Feet FYI) | 70 | 0.0176 |
| #2 | Jekoinkuiloinks | 27 | 0.0049 |
| #3 | cuntpuncher | 23 | 0.0076 |
| #4 | .lvnexwvlf. | 6 | 0.0106 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jekoinkuiloinks | 458 | 0.08 | 12 min |
| #2 | JoystickLuv 🎮 (Cute Feet FYI) | 196 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #3 | cuntpuncher | 60 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #4 | .lvnexwvlf. | 20 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | calvinisonline | +2.16 | 61 | 45 |
| #2 | JoystickLuv 🎮 (Cute Feet FYI) | +1.18 | 49 | 44 |
| #3 | Jekoinkuiloinks | -0.08 | 63 | 52 |
| #4 | .lvnexwvlf. | -0.26 | 45 | 19 |
| #5 | cuntpuncher | -3.34 | 39 | 24 |





