








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 488 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 532 matches | ||
| Faceit | 42 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 46 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8069 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,599 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4800 | 31% |
| Smokes | 2573 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 5407 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 2819 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,462,008 of utility $144 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 616 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | momoの | 51% | 106 |
| #2 | Mr. President | 50% | 42 |
| #3 | F-15EX Fedex Delivery | 50% | 68 |
| #4 | Dave Franco | 48% | 187 |
| #5 | Tyrone Jartavous Leroyid Page | 47% | 78 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Mr. President | 50% | 42 |
| #3 | F-15EX Fedex Delivery | 50% | 68 |
| #4 | Dave Franco | 48% | 187 |
| #5 | Tyrone Jartavous Leroyid Page | 47% | 78 |
| #6 | definitelynotslurzy | 47% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dave Franco | 22 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | Tyrone Jartavous Leroyid Page | 13 | 0.0076 |
| #3 | definitelynotslurzy | 6 | 0.0037 |
| #4 | momoの | 4 | 0.0017 |
| #5 | F-15EX Fedex Delivery | 4 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dave Franco | 264 | 0.07 | 7 min |
| #2 | Tyrone Jartavous Leroyid Page | 184 | 0.11 | 5 min |
| #3 | F-15EX Fedex Delivery | 67 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #4 | Mr. President | 64 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #5 | momoの | 41 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Coded Cox | +1.00 | 61 | 44 |
| #2 | Mr. President | +0.81 | 74 | 67 |
| #3 | Dave Franco | +0.58 | 77 | 54 |
| #4 | definitelynotslurzy | +0.40 | 44 | 28 |
| #5 | Tyrone Jartavous Leroyid Page | +0.31 | 58 | 65 |





