








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1696 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 654 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 48 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 34 matches | ||
| Esplay | 32 matches | 1,788 | |
| Competitive Overpass | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 100 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10956 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 52,427 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 18168 | 35% |
| Smokes | 12290 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 12730 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 9239 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,378,078 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2045 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Cobb | 50% | 211 |
| #6 | Malibu I♿I⛟I♿I⛟I♿I⛟ | 50% | 107 |
| #7 | Nani | 47% | 413 |
| #8 | Kurmu | 42% | 89 |
| #9 | punis | 41% | 105 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Nani | 1765 | 0.21 | 46 min |
| #2 | punis | 508 | 0.23 | 10 min |
| #3 | Unelmavävy | 452 | 0.11 | 12 min |
| #4 | Malibu I♿I⛟I♿I⛟I♿I⛟ | 277 | 0.12 | 8 min |
| #5 | Kurmu | 241 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | NASU | +3.64 | 71 | 58 |
| #2 | Unelmavävy | +2.00 | 80 | 68 |
| #3 | souksi | +1.56 | 69 | 51 |
| #4 | Kurmu | +1.52 | 79 | 69 |
| #5 | Malibu I♿I⛟I♿I⛟I♿I⛟ | +1.15 | 69 | 64 |





