








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 721 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 75 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 59 matches | ||
| Wingman | 38 matches | ||
| Faceit | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




16 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2208 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,437 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2353 | 28% |
| Smokes | 1510 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 3019 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 1555 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $464,961 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 148 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gerne | 61% | 89 |
| #2 | dede | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | ✪ SmashDown | 42% | 36 |
| #4 | нιgнℓαη∂єя | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | 阿爾賓暗黑 | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gerne | 61% | 89 |
| #2 | dede | 56% | 16 |
| #3 | ✪ SmashDown | 42% | 36 |
| #4 | нιgнℓαη∂єя | 40% | 20 |
| #5 | 阿爾賓暗黑 | 31% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ SmashDown | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #2 | dede | 1 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gerne | 310 | 0.18 | 7 min |
| #2 | dede | 76 | 0.24 | 2 min |
| #3 | нιgнℓαη∂єя | 62 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| #4 | ✪ SmashDown | 60 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #5 | 阿爾賓暗黑 | 48 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Gerne | +1.89 | 79 | 63 |
| #2 | ✪ SmashDown | +1.32 | 87 | 51 |
| #3 | dede | +0.42 | 54 | 70 |
| #4 | Dextrus | +0.30 | 73 | 57 |
| #5 | нιgнℓαη∂єя | -0.67 | 62 | 62 |





