










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1094 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 223 matches | ||
| Faceit | 110 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 43 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 40 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Wingman | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 22 matches | ||
| Renown | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 23 different maps





Our logs show 40 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




38 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7088 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,999 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8494 | 29% |
| Smokes | 6924 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7102 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 6479 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,381,026 of utility $95 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 241 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ok4y | 958 | 0.17 | 20 min |
| #2 | Atro✗ | 510 | 0.26 | 12 min |
| #3 | 阿爾賓暗黑 | 440 | 0.17 | 11 min |
| #4 | wiblash | 434 | 0.20 | 11 min |
| #5 | Gerne | 397 | 0.18 | 10 min |





