








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 274 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4248 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,772 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2585 | 29% |
| Smokes | 2235 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 2197 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1755 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $352,633 of utility $53 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 164 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | Rice | 53% | 60 |
| #7 | 平-HuNTeR-和 | 51% | 43 |
| #8 | ScuffedPanda | 49% | 45 |
| #9 | 5555 | 47% | 30 |
| #10 | BananaBoy | 43% | 30 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✪ Twinky-Kinky | 396 | 0.12 | 9 min |
| #2 | fidg1t | 243 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | 平-HuNTeR-和 | 216 | 0.24 | 6 min |
| #4 | Rice | 144 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | BananaBoy | 91 | 0.16 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | The Mandalorian | +4.58 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | Wylie | +2.98 | 63 | 73 |
| #3 | mehkid | +1.60 | 70 | 44 |
| #4 | ✪ Twinky-Kinky | +1.22 | 77 | 53 |
| #5 | 平-HuNTeR-和 | +1.22 | 73 | 74 |





