








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 38 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 40 matches | ||
| Premier | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
861 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,700 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 567 | 21% |
| Smokes | 743 | 28% |
| HE Grenades | 731 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 659 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $224,383 of utility $124 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 11 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WheyMysterio | 59% | 74 |
| #2 | flash | 58% | 74 |
| #3 | MKroenke | 56% | 82 |
| #4 | Ryoiki tenkai | 54% | 79 |
| #5 | timfu | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WheyMysterio | 59% | 74 |
| #2 | flash | 58% | 74 |
| #3 | MKroenke | 56% | 82 |
| #4 | Ryoiki tenkai | 54% | 79 |
| #5 | timfu | 54% | 24 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WheyMysterio | 3 | 0.0020 |
| #2 | flash | 2 | 0.0013 |
| #3 | Ryoiki tenkai | 1 | 0.0006 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | WheyMysterio | 196 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | flash | 114 | 0.07 | 3 min |
| #3 | Ryoiki tenkai | 52 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #4 | MKroenke | 32 | 0.02 | 1 min |
| #5 | timfu | 12 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MKroenke | +2.45 | 81 | 49 |
| #2 | marc1v | +1.05 | 76 | 55 |
| #3 | WheyMysterio | +0.76 | 66 | 64 |
| #4 | flash | -0.46 | 70 | 55 |
| #5 | Ryoiki tenkai | -2.26 | 48 | 59 |





